Life...examined

Ask me anything   Musings on what is and what could be by a HSP/INFJ just trying to figure things out.

The Meaning of Life (My Thoughts)

Three Questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What does “happiness” even mean?
  • How do I get there from here?

Knowing yourself – is “self” something you find or something you create? In my opinion, you must first learn what is, accept what is and value what is. Know yourself, as you really are. Accept yourself fully and know – really believe – the benefits of being uniquely you. “I cannot be him or her. The only person I can be is me. And I have a lot to offer.”

 “Once we accept our limits, we can go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein

 With that foundation, you can build the best version of you. How can I use who I am, the strengths and skills I have, to become the best version of myself? What life do I want to create? How will I develop the confidence to respond to external pressures or criticism? What about the internal pressure and criticism – the “not good enough” internal voice? Decide what you want to accomplish and get there YOUR way. You don’t need everyone else’s permission or approval. If they doubt you, prove them wrong. If YOU doubt you, prove yourself wrong – and don’t be so quick to doubt next time.

 

Defining happiness – we tend to let happiness be defined as “getting what we want.” The job, the car, the house, etc. Problem is, once we get one thing, we just want more. Happiness needs to be based on being more than having.

It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.— Desiderius Erasmus

What if happiness is based on who you are? What if you goals are built around what gives your life meaning and purpose? “Trying to become someone else is a waste of who you are.” Whether you believe you were put on earth for a reason or you just realize that you have unique potential as a unique person…what do you want to contribute to the world? What means something to you? When you look back, is this something you’ll be proud of? Did it match your goals, your values?

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. - e.e. cummings, 1955

 

Getting there from here – Realize that separating yourself from the expectations, opinions, norms of others is very difficult. It’s constantly being on the road less traveled. It means being strong enough and certain enough in who you are and what you want to keep going – to face the challenges and uncertainty with confidence. Being your true self and being true to yourself (and what is important to you) despite the external pressures and expectations is an accomplishment in and of itself. “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Spend it being authentic and modeling authenticity for everyone around you.  Every day, every moment, you have a choice. You can let the chaos and pressures of life distract, discourage or dissuade you, or you can use every small opportunity that presents itself as an opportunity to be true to you.

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Originality is deliberate and forced, and partakes of the nature of a protest—Eric Hoffer (The Passionate State of Mind)

“Can I get there being me?” If you can’t get there being you, you probably shouldn’t be trying to get there at all. Be where you are valued, not tolerated.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.  - Oscar Wilde

Other Words of Inspiration

· People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, and they pass by themselves without wondering. - St. Augustine

· If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self. - Napoleon Hill

· To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.—Baruch Spinoza

· It is never too late to be what you might have been.—George Eliot

· Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in ones own sunshine - by Ralph Waldo Emerson

· The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers, but above all, the world needs dreamers who do. - Sarah Ban Breathnach

— 1 year ago with 26 notes
#infj  #hsp  #meaningoflife 
INFJs have a difficult time understanding their own emotions

Interestingly, INFJs have a more difficult time when it comes to perceiving and understanding their own emotions. This is due to the fact that their Feeling function is directed outwardly (i.e., extraverted) rather than inwardly. Unlike INFPs, INFJs don’t spend a great deal of time trying to sort out their emotions. Inwardly, they deal in the currency of Intuition (Ni) and Thinking (Ti). Hence, when INFJs find themselves in emotionally taxing circumstances, they often turn to others for support or direction. So while INFJs are extremely gifted at helping others solve their problems, they can have greater difficulty when it comes to navigating their own.

— 1 year ago with 33 notes
#infj 
"It Made a Difference to That One."

An important reminder that there are no small acts of kindness and you don’t have to save the world to make a difference.

Early in the morning, a man was fishing on the beach. As dawn began to break, the man took note of the sand beneath his feet. The beach was covered with starfish, thousands of them, left there to die as the tide had washed them ashore without warning. At about the same time, off in the distance, the fisherman noticed someone walking the beach toward him. The figure would walk a few steps, stop and bend over to pick up something off the sand, and toss it into the ocean.

When the man got within earshot, curiosity got the better of the fisherman. “What in the world are you doing?” he asked.

"I’m saving starfish," the hiker answered.

"Saving starfish?" the fisherman replied. " What do you mean? Can’t you see that there are thousands of starfish littering the beach? There is no way that you can possibly make a difference."

The other man, without saying a word, bent over and picked up a starfish from the sand, and gently tossed it into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.” he said…and continued his walk down the beach.

— 1 year ago with 18 notes
#infj  #hsp  #highly sensitive  #kindness  #difference 
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen"
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
— 1 year ago with 2362 notes
Before you decide…

ask yourself this:

"Am I making this decision to avoid risk or to pursue happiness?"

My decision-making strategy, looking back on it now, can mostly be summed up in two words. Risk Avoidance. Avoid the worst-case scenario and anything remotely close to it. Don’t aim too high and you won’t be too disappointed. Don’t stand out, don’t draw attention to yourself, and you won’t be rejected or humiliated. You can only fail at what you try. Stick to things you know you can do well. That way, even if you fail, you won’t fail too badly.

The problem is, you can’t really avoid risk. You take a risk going out into the world everyday - with every conversation - with every decision. If you aim low, you can still be disappointed. If you play it safe, you can still fail. Maybe you avoid some rejection, but at the expense of finding true acceptance and belonging. Worst of all, by far, is that you have set your goals based on fear. You have put your self-worth “on the line.” You have let other people’s opinions and reactions determine how far you can go.

What if you knew you were good enough, regardless of the outcome? What if you knew that failing wouldn’t define you? What if you could accept that vulnerability is often a requirement for happiness and success - and taking a risk is sometimes a victory in itself? Would you choose differently?

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Elliot

— 1 year ago with 13 notes
#infj  #introvert  #risk  #happiness 
Let It Be

When you have tried and tried and you have turned it over and taken it apart and held it up to the light and you still don’t know why it’s broken or how to fix it or even why you care so much. And it would make sense to give up, let go. Everyone else would tell you so. But something inside you tells you to hang on. There is something unresolved. A purpose, not yet revealed. A significance, still unclear. There is another option. You learn to let it be. You don’t give up. You do stop trying. And analyzing. And agonizing. For now. You let time do what it always does. You let it change people and perspectives and circumstances. You let life grow around and over and through it. And you hope that, one day, you’ll see it again, in a new light, and you’ll know why, exactly, you couldn’t let it go before.

— 1 year ago with 25 notes
#infj  #hsp  #change  #resolution  #highly sensitive 
"Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say."
Mitch Albom (via ruineshumaines)

(Source: blue-voids, via cme3-deactivated20131018)

— 1 year ago with 15891 notes